It's okay to not be okay

This is a topic that has been speaking to me this week, and don't worry I will still be posting about frozen shoulder next week, but I am going to get side tracked with this subject today.

It's okay to not be okay. Here is the clip that really brought this subject into my mind. I know it has been circulating quite a bit, but I think it is important to watch. (Sorry for the bad recording. I had to find it, then tape in on my phone.)

What this brings to mind, is all my time working in retail. I sat at a counter all day, and every customer, I would ask " How's it going?" and 99% of the customers would answer with " good" or " doing well". Now, I know you aren't going to spill our heart out at the front counter of a clothing store, but what really bugs me is how easy it is to say I'm good. I'm fine. I'm doing well. We have become a society where it's a failure to not be good. If you are sad, angry, stressed, or upset it is a failure. This is one of the biggest lies our generation has bought into.

One of my biggest successes in my marriage was when I was finally able to open up to my husband and tell him, I'm not okay and I need help. For so long, I trapped sadness and anger inside myself. I did not want to appear that I had anything less than a happy life. I didn't want to be a crybaby. After moving 1000 miles away from my childhood home, changing jobs, and buying a new car I was stressed, homesick, and confused. Had you asked me how I was, I would have answered "I'm fine". Carrying all this stress inside me caused me to feel physically sick and tired. It made me upset and angry and I would have moments where I lashed out because I could not handle it anymore. 

Finally after carrying this with me for months, I was able to let loose. I sat with my husband and cried and let it all out. After this a miraculous thing happened. I was no longer sad, angry, or stressed. I didn't need to lash out at anyone because I was able to slowly vent what was going on. Yes, I still get stressed and angry. However, now that I know it's okay to feel that way, I can let go of it. Honestly, I felt like Elsa, without the really cool dress and hairdo.

The truth is, emotions are the brains way of saying, I need to find a way to get this out! It can let stress out by laughter, tears, or even yelling. These are all perfectly natural ways for your body to let go of stress! Stress is something that can actually cause physical harm to your body if you hold on to it. Here is a quick video that has lots of great info on stress and how it affects you!

And here is another video on why we cry! 

As you can see these emotions are normal human responses to stress! So now, how can we learn to let our stress go and not just be "good"?

Tip 1: Self love

Self love is something I like to focus on in my meditations and with my massage clients. When was the last time you were able to look at yourself completely naked and say, I love me! Yes, the naked part is essential. I'm talking no makeup, no clothes, and hair undone. Just the raw you. It is a practice that I like to do once in a while, especially if I'm feeling down. Look at yourself in the mirror, and start listing positive, non-physical aspects of yourself. Being naked while doing this exercise (though you can do it clothed if you aren't alone) gives it rawness and meaningfulness. It means that you feel this way unconditionally. Not just when your makeup is on point, or when you look cute in your new outfit. It is always. 

Tip 2: Self-awareness

It's important for your body to be aware of what it is feeling. We often become disconnected from our bodies, and ignore big red flags that our body throws us. To do this, sit in a room with as little outside stimuli as possible and just focus on what your body is doing. Focus on your hands, then your arms, then your shoulder, and so on. Think of one body part at a time and just focus on how it feels.

Tip 3: Don't be good!!

Work on being truthful with yourself and those close to you. When someone asks, how are you? Be truthful. You don't need to tell them your life story, but a simple, " I'm kinda feeling stressed out today because my bills are due," works just fine. 

Please leave your comments below, about topics you want to hear about!

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In this neck of the woods...

In this neck of the woods...

Neck pain is well, a pain in the neck. There is a massive amount of muscles, nerves, and blood vessels in the neck, and because of this, there are many opportunities for dysfunction. The necks main function is to hold up your head, which is quite the task for such a small body part. The neck is made up of spine and muscles the help stabilize the head and its movements.  

Imagine it like this, you are holding a 10 pound weight up with your arm straight. Now this weight starts to move side to side, and rotate in all directions. Now do this, all day with no breaks. Your arm is likely to hurt, if not fall off from exhaustion. This is what your neck does everyday! Talk about a thankless job!

So now, lets give all these muscles a much needed vacation! Or at least a break! Imagine you have a needle coming straight out of the top of your head, when you are looking straight forward. Now, point this "needle" forward in front of you. This will cause a stretch on the posterior muscles of your neck, and even some back muscles. When in tension, these muscles can cause headaches and migraines. If you feel discomfort with this stretch, you should also look into giving your neck more support while sleeping, such as a rolled towel under your neck, or an extra pillow to snuggle if you are a side sleeper.

For the next stretch, move you head from side to side, as if trying to touch your ear to your shoulder. This is going to activate your SCM ( short name for a long muscle!). This is a very important muscle in your neck, as it controls many movements that you use on a day to day basis. This muscle is also responsible for most of the pain people feel in the neck. To stretch it out, let your shoulder drop straight down, and then slowly and gently let your neck fall the opposite way. If you want more of a stretch, you can place your opposite hand on your ear to help "pull" your head over. WARNING!! DO NOT PULL HARD ON YOUR HEAD!!  The key to stretching your neck is gentle and slow movements. You can also use a foam roller to help relieve some of this tension. Simply lay with the crook for your neck on the top of the foam roller, and simply look from side to side.

These stretches can significantly reduce the amount of tension in your neck, especially if you are doing them on a daily basis. If you have severe neck pains always follow up with your doctor as neck injuries can be very serious! 

Keep an eye out for next week's blog on FROZEN SHOULDER!

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My Achy Breaky Knees

My Achy Breaky Knees

You (k)need your knees! Knees are a very important, yet they are a very high risk area of your body. Many professional athletes suffer from injured knees, however everyone at some point or time has probably experienced some pain in this area. 

Your knee is a synovial or diarthrosis joint. This means it provides free movement in the joint. However, this joint also contains ligaments that keep the joint stable. These ligaments are called the MCL, ACL, PCL, and LCL. The knee also has "padding" on it called the meniscus. Since the knee is such a complex joint, there are many injuries that can be sustained in it.

Your feet and the way you walk ( or gait) has a large impact on your knees. Try this! Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Now, turn your ankles so the outside of your foot is touching the floor. What happens to your knees? Now try the opposite, and put your weight on the inside of your feet. Your knees change position depending on where you distribute your weight while you stand and walk. If you are experiencing continuous knee pain, its probably a good idea to get insoles in your shoes. The best I have found so far are the Dr. Scholls insoles. Go to your local store and they usually have a machine that will analyze where you put most of your weight, and it will give you an insole to match it. These insoles will help align your feet so you are walking and standing on the correct parts of your feet.


If you have experienced a knee injury the best thing you can do is rest it! Don't try to walk it off! Always RICE! This acronym means rest, ice, compression, and elevate. Compression braces are great for knees, because they will lower the impact your knees take while walking or exercising. Lastly, if you have any concerns about injuries always talk to your doctor! Knee injuries can become serious if not addressed correctly! Now, here are some great maintenance options for your knees!


Tip 1: Low impact exercising:
Low impact exercising is great for people with aches and pains in their knees! The best exercise for this is swimming ( in my opinion). This not only has very little impact on your knees, but the water can actually soothe any inflammation that has occurred previously. Its like floating in a giant ice pack full of rainbows and tears of angels! ( If you can't tell I really recommend swimming!)


Tip 2: Massage!
Massage therapy can help reduce swelling and can also prevent muscles and ligaments from becoming sprained or strained. Massage stretches and broadens soft tissue. This helps prevent injuries that may be experienced from day to day movement or intense activity.


Tip 3: Stretch and warm up:
Before exercise, always give your legs a good stretch and warm up, that way your muscles and joints are ready to move. More often than not, if you don't stretch, your muscles are " cold" and inflexible. It's like being woken up at 3 in the morning and told to run a mile. not too many people would be thrilled about that. This is how your knees feel without a good warm up.

As always, feel free to leave your comments below. Let me know what body part you would like to go over, and I will address it as soon as possible!

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Hips don't lie

There is no fighting it, HIPS DON'T LIE! 

Hips are made of the Illium, the Ischium, and the Pubis. Together these bones support the entire weight of the body while in movement or standing still. This task is immense no matter what body type or weight you are. Just like everyone's favorite super villain Loki, they are burdened with great purpose. However this great purpose comes with a great sacrifice. Deterioration.

As a massage therapist, I see a lot of dysfunction in the hips while helping my clients. When asking clients where do you feel pain, the number one response will always be my lower back and hips. From young spry clients to older stiff clients the pain stays the same. Can you really blame it? 

When we take a look at the human skeleton, we see that the top is connected to the bottom by nothing but a thin spine. To help the top from falling over, the body employs many muscles that keep the body erect. This is all supported by the hips.

The hips see so much deterioration because they hold this immense weight. Many injuries can occur to these areas such as dislocation, fracture, strains, bursitis, and osteoarthritis. So how can we take care of our hips? Here are some tips to keep your hips happy and healthy.

1. Stretch it out!
 Here is a link to some wonderful hip stretches to help relieve pain and add more flexibility in your hips! Always remember, don't push it to far with stretches, especially when pregnant, as it is easy to dislocate your hip joint. This video is a little long, but it is great if you are experiencing back pain and hip tension!

2. Take it easy!
Sometimes all you need is a break! A great way to give your hips a rest is to lay on your back with your neck and knees supported. This will take weight off your hips, and give them a chance to take a well deserved break! For pregnant women, I recommend a half sitting position so the torso is elevated and the baby is not pressing on the inferior vena cava.

3. See your massage therapist!

Many times we have built up so much tension that is becomes chronic. Massage therapist are trained to be able to get deep into your muscles and work out trigger points and muscle tension that may be holding your hips in compromising positions.

Please comment below about any other areas of the body that you are feeling pain in or would like to hear about!

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